A father’s love through prison walls

My son was two years old when it happened. I was convicted of my first offense, a non-violent drug crime, but I was given a double life sentence. I had to leave my son as he was learning so fast at that time, walking and starting to talk, showing interest in his toys, and recognizing his family. This harsh reality tore me away from my son, leaving a void in both our hearts that echoed with the absence of a father’s love.

It breaks my heart to say that America has the highest rate of single parenthood in the world. Too many children live without a father in our country. There are approximately 18 million fatherless children in America.

Fatherhood can make or break a child’s life. Fatherless children are more likely to live in poverty, commit crimes, and suffer from mental health problems. These numbers are tragic, and while I was in prison, I was determined that my son would not become one of those statistics. It was then, amidst the darkness of incarceration, that I resolved that my son would not succumb to my same fate. I made it my mission to build a strong bond with him and overcome the barriers of distance.

I wrote letters, made calls, visited when allowed, and prayed for him daily. Alongside his mother, we made it a priority that no matter what happened around him, he would be successful and not make the same mistakes I did.

Regrettably, my experience behind bars revealed a sobering truth. Despite sharing the mantle of fatherhood, many of my fellow inmates failed to prioritize their children’s welfare. The specter of fatherlessness looms large within the walls of our prisons. Of America’s incarcerated individuals, more than 92% are fathers, and more than 2 million children have at least one parent in prison.

In 2020, I had spent more than 16 years behind bars and exhausted all legal avenues. A few years before, I was denied clemency from President Obama.

Even though I thought I’d be stuck behind bars, fulfilling my sentence until the end of my life, I took every opportunity that came my way. I studied, took every course I could, had good behavior, and committed my life to following God. During these trials, I worked hard, and it paid off. In October 2020, President Donald J. Trump granted me clemency, and that very day, I was home with my family. I was home with my son and able to hug him for the first time in 16 years.

On December 30, 2023, my son was my best man at my wedding. In May of this year, he graduated from college and is going on to earn his master’s degree. I couldn’t be prouder of him, and his success goes to show that no matter the circumstances, men can make an impact on their children’s lives, for better or worse.

I am here to tell you that the current system does not have to define your future. For Black men specifically, we hear the cries of injustice, and we see the crime and bleakness in our community. But instead of committing to making a difference and being a force for good, we let the system define us. We allow crime to run rampant in our community and celebrate drugs, alcohol, and lust in our music. We teach our kids to look up to the wrong people and celebrate the wrong choices.

America is the land of opportunity, and if we want a better life, we must work hard and prioritize the important things. I am here to tell you that success is within your reach! In the midst of my double life sentence, I had no reason to hope, but my son made all the work worth it. This Father’s Day, I call on Black men to step up in their communities and be a light to their children and families. A real father doesn’t just lead his household and community; he leads people to the real Father.

My hard work and dedication to the right values paid off. Each day of freedom becomes more and more valuable. This Father’s Day, I want to commend the fathers who are supporting their children, who are involved in the lives of their families, and who model the right values. Let us seize this opportunity to honor their legacy and rededicate ourselves to the daily but rewarding task of fatherhood.

Charles Duke Tanner is a motivational speaker, the CEO of FreedomWear 20-0 clothing line, a former undefeated boxing champion, and an America First Policy Institute Athletes for America Ambassador.